even my ego couldn't stand me

[neil]

boo.
neil.
52.
colorblind.
met Ron a while back ... i think it was @ "Words on Fire" or one of those places that used to be a hive of literary activity, but now is just a hole in the ether.
been writing "pooetry" since October, 2002 and still writing the same mess ... funny thing is, i don't care.
have done some open mics and would love to get into performance poetry/slams if i didn't have all this other stuff to do.
my writes mostly work better if read. i get slightly irritated with peeps who "can't" read my stuff which is normally not punctuated ... "can i help you across the street you poor, feeble little thing?"
dropped into "Once Upon..." around the first of November ... can't remember exactly how i got here. Ron had let me post one of his pieces at my archive site N i think i just did a google search to see if he was still alive.
3 1/2 years in a graphic arts program at UNC-Charlotte ... no degree. pitiful. 25 years or so in the custom industrial machine business. when orders are good, the work is a blast. when orders are not good, you get tossed ... two lay-offs that i can remember.
great marriage - 25 years solid ... 26 on Feb 14, 2007. three grown sons. oldest has been in and out of the USMC. middle son started in the USMC, but wound up in the USAF. youngest is in the USMC ... just got back from an all-expenses-paid vacation in the sunNfun capital of the world...Iraq. he's fine. 4 disgustingly spoiled inside cats. no dogs. no birds. no fish. tried iguanas, but they have the personality of a cinder block ... not very conversational. ride a 2004 Triumph Bonneville. just got my 2002 Civic paid off ... it's stone stock except for a CD player - when you've worked around machinery as long as i have, you begin to figure out that the best way to customize a car is by keeping better than stock rubber on it and runnin better than stock engine oil. otherwise, leave the thing alone. rarely read poetry for "fun". read a Billy Collins book recently and it was OK. favorite authors: C.S.Lewis / J.R.R.Tolkien / Winston Churchill / Patrick MacManus. think contemporary literature basically stinks on ice. think i know everything. like virtually every form of music ever invented. very picky about content, though. Dad's gonna be 80 in March of next year ... he's still pickin em up and puttin em down. Mom's been gone since '72. one sister two years younger.
Ron said i had to write all this, so it's not my fault. my favorite color is Denise ... yum. don't like flying. movies are OK, but never go to "the cinema". watch too much TV. don't drink. don't smoke. don't talk like i drink or smoke. am actually not boring. have a good sense of humor as long as the "funny business" is actually funny to anyone with an IQ greater than their shoe size. like to drive fast, but have had a clean insurance record for a while .... so. blah blah blah. my favorite clothes are clean ones ... or dirty ones that don't smell bad. zzzzzzzzz. yope ... what?...what? oh. that's enuff. maybe later if you can stand the suspense.
neil.

[Mary Jane Burns]

pleased to meet u...

[neil]

thank you, maam

[writeone73]

i remember you, neil from IHOP (not the restaurant, the poetry board, foo'!)

i'm looking forwrd to reading your work again!

[Mary Jane Burns]

oh...yes....well then, we've met. there r a couple of pieces i remember vividly. your wit is wicked.

[neil]

ok.
there we go.
IHOP had some good peeps.
i wasn't exactly a regular, but i remember [or half remember]
quite a few i've seen around here:
both of you
;D
Bronxite
was getchristielove there?
mamacash

i'll prolly remember more later.

thanks for dropping by and
leaving a kind word.

[writeone73]

mary jane burns is mamacash.

schizophrenia is contagious. watch out. ron might give it to you. soon you'll be:

neildowntome
nowaiti'llneildowntou
stopneilingonmytoes

you get the idea, dontcha?

[bronxite]

Yo - NeilRingSmith - I amemba u 2--

How ya been? Good to have ya around ...

[neil]

hey, Bronxite!
this is a happy meeting, fareal [CopyRight-MaryJaneBurns].

i remember you well because of your polite
and classy demeanor ... but i dont wanna
hurt your rep, so i won't tell anybody.
;D

ok,
so Mary Jane is mamacash ... that clears that up.

[hand to head]oh!oh! it's all coming back to me now!!!!
choke.

yeah, how you gonna keep 'em down on the farm
once they've seen the city.

i'm doing pretty good.
still messing around with this ridiculous "art" form
or whatever the krunk it is.

there are quite a few unique creative avenues
available here ... some kinda tasty stuff.
i'm looking for a job at the moment,
so i'll prolly be making a nuisance of
myself for awhile. who knows, by the
time i get my nose back on the grindstone
dirty-boy may wish he'd never heard
of this smart-aleck blabber-mouth.


best wishes to evabody.
see ya on the block.
neil.

[neil]

my spaced place:

myspace.com/largeandgrowlybear

not a blur of activity,
but sum pics, sum tunez,
some videos.

basic lightweight stuff.

[Mary Jane Burns]

"this is a happy meeting, fareal [to coin a dirt phrase]."

umm no... i have 'fareal' copywritten. please be careful

[neil]

ooooooooooookaaaaaaaaaay.
heard that.
rushing off to edit rat nah.

aight.
fixed it.
don't hate on me.




please.

[Mary Jane Burns]

lol!! i think me & u gonna be alright

[neil]

prolly, but imma keep m'eyes steady wide, yo.
i tell everbody "don' mess wit her ... you draw back a nub".



two dimensional guns are bunches safer than the other kind.


hey, Hon ...
since we havin such a lovely convo, are you not posting?
didn't see and MaryJaneBurns in the main place.

[neil]

writeone73 sez:

mary jane burns is mamacash.
schizophrenia is contagious. watch out. ron might give it to you. soon you'll be:

neildowntome
nowaiti'llneildowntou
stopneilingonmytoes

you get the idea, dontcha?



been there.
done that.
got the t-shirt.

at one time i had over 30 active screen/names ...
then ezboard started getting foxy - only
allowing one name per email address.
rained all over my juvenile parade.

shoved into the mold of conformity.
guess i might as well sell
my bike now.

[upfromsumdirt]

gahdammit... i ont know who to stick my tongue out at first!!!!!

aight, first come first serve then:

oh...

and...

FAREAL©™ - upfromsumdirt patent number 77504112-3528-0A-3 juvember 34th 1885.

[neil]

stop it ...
you're scaring the squirrels.

[upfromsumdirt]

and u jess likes this pic
acause these moons vvvv look like breasteses.

[neil]

uhm ... well actually no.
i have at my beck and call
all the breasteses that i can handle
[sometimes more than i can handle ...
but we won't go there].

that's Cowboy Bebop.
he don't write poetry
and he's more badder'n you.


now that you mention it, though ...
them moons do kinda look uhm
the way you said.
you said.
not me.
you.

[writeone73]

neil

as of this posting you have 65 posts. it took me two years to get that many posts. now either i need to get more active or you need to get a J-O-B.

could be both, my mayne. could be both. you have shamed meeeeee...

[neil]

you have hit the proverbial nail on its proverbial head proverbially.
i don't have a job at the moment.
one of life's little vicissitudes.

donkin around the block here has been the best fun i've
had in a long time. i haven't watched TV today. i haven't
eaten. i haven't taken my medicine. wait.

no joke. i've been having a blast showing my butt
in every thread that i could reasonably wedge into ...
and some that i wedged into in an unreasonable manner.

it's fun not to be a workaholic.
it's fun to be a bum.
of course, a crushing depression is just around the corner ...
but who cares?

well.

[derick PO gibbs]

i'm all late
but hey hello what's good and sup
that's all the intelligent conversation i can
muster up right now

good to have you round


*PO

[neil]

hey, writeone ... let me tell you something.
you know i'm caucasian.
i don't know if there are any other
caucasians [that sounds funny] floating
around in here ... but if there are,
i don't think it's too many.

why is this important?

because i miss my friends at my old job.

my old job was not that thrilling.
to get the kind of satisfaction out of the job
that a person needs to stay mentally and
emotionally sharp and steady, i put a lot
of energy into building friendships with
EVERYBODY in the plant. i didn't come home,
pick up the phone and call my friends ...
i don't have any. that's just the way it
falls out in recent years. but i know how
to make friends in the workplace, and i do.
i don't know the ratio of caucasians to
African-Americans [is that OK?] at my plant,
but it was close to 50/50. nevertheless, the
majority of acceptance, love and support that
i receiced from my friends at work came from
my dark skinned brothers and sisters. i haven't
seen them in six weeks. coming in here and
hearing the language, remembering the quality
of relationships, enjoying being in the company
of other people who had much the same human
viewpoint on life that i have, but with a different
spice, a different savor and flavor ... coming in
here like that stirred up some good memories
and some lonesome feelings.

i miss my friends. you guys could never be my
friends in the same way as my coworkers ...
but it's like smelling your wife's favorite perfume
on another lady.

i think that makes sense.
it does to me.
i appreciate being allowed to run around
and act silly with my pseudo-brother talk
and my pseudo-sister mentality ... but that
is exactly what my friends at work did. they
knew i was playing, and they knew how to
play along ... to enjoy the game as much as
i did.

i just miss Harvey / Melinda / Nita / my extra
special sisters Geneva, Tania and Dot / Elaine /
Cathy / Alicia [we'd kid about her wanting a
Chrysler 300] / *Dora* / Portia / Lily / Curtis
[he didn't have many teeth, but he had a
fantastic smile] ... prolly some more that i can't
think of at the moment.

there is a possibility that i will get my old job
back in January. that would take some adjustment,
but i have no doubt that my friends missed me and
have been praying for my wellbeing ever since i left.
no doubt at all.

there are some flowers in "Once..." that have unique
qualities; qualities that i appreciate because i have
sought them, found them and benefitted from them
for many years.

i'm just taking in the fragrance.

hope you don't mind.

neil.

[Mary Jane Burns]

"didn't see and MaryJaneBurns in the main place."

kicked the habbit of postin poetry....i can feel myself falling off the bandwagon though....

[upfromsumdirt]

since ive failed u lilmama...
WILL SUMBODY PLLLEEAAAAZZZE BE THIS WOMAN'S PUSHER?? ...
supply the sista with an overly aggressive muse or sumphn... shit...

a 'bandwagon'?? im hopin the muhfuh wheels fall off!!!

come back lilmama...
i aint too proud to beg (uppin sumbody else's blog or elsewhair!!!!)

*we now take u back to the original programming now in progress*

[neil]

i second the emotion.
no pressure ... just encouragement.

[neil]

da-HANG!!!

i was lookin through the custom avatars.
why it is all the sistaz up in heah SO FINE?

good thing i'm married,
or i'd have my head wrung straight off my neck.

i mean dat.
very pretty wimmin.

did you do that on apurpose, Mr.Dirt?
bet you did.
screened 'em wimmin fo outstandin attributes.
unh-hunh.
that be like you.

dog.

*
gon good look for me and avatar nah.
maybe find some Republican thing ...
get Mr. upfromsumdirt, esq. all bent.
m.
might get bumrushed.
lessee, how many forums would
that make it i been tossed out of?
one
two
three
fo
five
prolly more.
sissies.

[neil]

coupla quotes from my dog Clive Staples Lewis.

Every time you make a choice, you are turning the central part of you, the part of you that chooses, into something a little different from what it was before. And, taking your life as a whole, with all your innumerable choices, all your life long you are slowly turning this central thing either into a Heaven creature or into a hellish creature -- either into a creature that is in harmony with God, and with other creatures, and with itself, or else into one that is in a state of war and hatred with God, and with its fellow creatures and with itself. To be the one kind of creature is Heaven: that is, it is joy, and peace, and knowledge, and power. To be the other means madness, horror, idiocy, rage, impotence, and eternal loneliness. Each of us at each moment is progressing to the one state or the other.

*
Don't imagine that if you meet a really humble man he will be what most people call "humble" nowadays: he won't be a sort of greasy, smarmy person, who's always telling you that, of course, he's nobody. Probably all you'll think about him is that he seemed a cheerful, intelligent chap who took a real interest in what you said to him. If you do dislike him, it will be because you feel a bit envious of anyone who seems to enjoy life so easily. He won't be thinking about himself at all. There I must stop. If anyone would like to acquire humility, I can, I think, tell him the first step. The first step is to realize that one is proud. And a biggish step, too. At least, nothing whatever can be done before it. If you think you're not conceited, it means you are very conceited indeed.

*

If the [Incarnation] happened, it was the central event in the history of the Earth -- the very thing that the whole story has been about. Since it happened only once, it is by Hume's standards infinitely improbable. But then, the whole history of the Earth has also happened only once: is it therefore incredible? Hence the difficulty, which weighs upon Christian and atheist alike, of estimating the probability of the Incarnation. It is like asking whether the existence of nature herself is intrinsically probable. That is why it is easier to argue, on historical grounds, that the Incarnation actually occurred than to show, on philosophical grounds, the probability of its occurrence.

An intrinsically improbable event
does not become more probable
simply as a consequence of the
passage of time.
- neil leach

*

The rejection as unhistorical of all passages which narrate miracles is sensible if we start by knowing that the miraculous... never occurs. Now, I do not want here to discuss whether the miraculous is possible: I only want to point out that this is a purely philosophical question. Scholars, as scholars, speak on it with no more authority than anyone else. The canon, "If miraculous, unhistorical", is one they bring to their study of the texts, not one they have learned from it. If one is speaking of authority, the united authority of all the Biblical critics in the world counts for nothing. On this they speak simply as men -- men obviously influenced by, and perhaps insufficiently critical of, the spirit of the age they grew up in.

*

What you see and hear depends a good deal on where you are standing; it also depends on what sort of person you are.


*

A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic - on the level with a man who says he is a poached egg - or he would be the devil of hell. You must take your choice. Either this was, and is, the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us.

*

If you're colorblind
all you see is red -
the hue of the blues
in the blood that was shed;
to break the hate
that kept us apart;
and made of the two
a common heart.

- neil leach

[stirred~UP]

- carbon message -
> sincere intent <

'scuse my poor manners > 2day i'm blamin' - age -

nice to read ya & welcome

<+>T

[neil]

back at ya, T


have a safe and pleasant day.